It was also about this time that I discovered that the "shrinks" had a term for my phenomena, and thus I began my research into the nature of it. It was most comforting indeed, to find many opinions reinforc- ing my hope that I really wasn't going to turn “gay” someday in the future.

By then, the regimentalists at school had begun to assault my in- dividuality. Their line "everyone must cooperate to build a better society" rubbed me wrong, when I was feeling more like doing my own part independently; so I began to see, as I advanced in my secondary education that a beard could serve as a mark of my individualism. Alas! The rules of schools and employers kept me from testing my inclination, and much to my dismay the beard was adopted as the symbol of the radical element. So, I did without and continued dres- sing until the draft came after me.

I beat the draft, but only by enlisting in a safer branch a few days ahead of my induction date. So the rest of the world caught up and passed me, while I lingered in the Armed Forces. And as my restless- ness grew, reading about FP acted as a substitute for the act, as I had to research further and further for new material, I finally learned of TVia. I was so impressed that, when I was allowed to live off base, where my mail would not be monitored by the military, my femme-self reached out to contact others like myself. And I acquired my very own wardrobe- from the skin out. But when I was finally discharged — with years Honorable service I found that the basic me cried for expres-

4

sion more demanding than FP.

I often wonder how others in FP society have coped with the in- creasing popularity of masculine facial hair. Have their sideburns grown to keep the modern image? Do some yearn for a mustache? Or do all play the "straight" role — clean shaven that is necessary to "pass," even though other reasons prevent it.

My dressing activity still remains severely limited; but I still enjoy occasional compromise measures such as wearing a skirt at home in- stead of pants with opaque stockings to cover my hirsute legs and feminine sandals. But the satisfactions in my daily life having provided enough compensation for this limitation—at least so far. Nevertheless, my mind remains interested and my heart in sympathy with my “sisters, that my desire for maintaining contact with their world has not de- serted me. And their feminine world will remain a part of my soul and must be expressed.

Sincerely,

""

Dee Elaine

Calif.

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